Why We Sabotage Good Things After We Manifest Them

The hardest part of manifesting isn’t clarity or visualization—it’s what happens the moment your desire arrives. We’ve all seen it: the dream partner says yes, the ideal job lands, the apartment fits like a glove—and then a whisper undercuts the win. Is this really the best for me? Should I hold out for something better? That spiral isn’t a failure of manifesting; it’s a safety alarm from a nervous system trained by chaos, perfectionism, or old wounds.

We unpack the hidden dynamics that cause smart, capable people to second-guess good things: why “cold feet” can be a trauma response, how the brain confuses calm with danger, and how living in “potential land” keeps happiness just out of reach. Instead of romanticizing constant highs or waiting for confetti days, we reframe success as stewardship—appreciating, honoring, nurturing, and growing what you’ve already called in. You’ll hear practical ways to build tolerance for receiving, from micro-doses of joy and stillness to clear self-inquiry that separates real misalignment from fear of stability.

This conversation blends mindset and nervous system literacy with grounded practices you can use today. If you’ve ever sabotaged a stable relationship, bailed on a promising role, or felt bored when life got peaceful, this is your map back to safety and presence. We challenge the myth of the perfect life, celebrate “good enough and growing,” and offer a gentle reminder: readiness matters as much as desire. Press play, then tell us—what would feel safe to receive right now? If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Chapters

• 0:00 Manifesting Wins And Sudden Doubt
• 0:52 Living In Potential Versus Reality
• 2:51 Trauma Response Behind Second-Guessing
• 4:13 Perfection, Sabotage, And The Chase
• 6:10 Choosing Calm Over Chaos
• 7:24 Real Life Isn’t Constant Confetti
• 8:20 Receiving As A Spiritual Lesson

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello, it's Dr. Donna, and welcome to another episode of my podcast. Today I want to talk about a very interesting factor when it comes to manifesting. Now imagine this. You were hoping for the ideal partner to come along, and they come, and you're hoping for that great job to come along, and that job comes along that you just love. And you look at your life and everything's starting to fall in place. The partner, the job where you live, you know, everything's great, and you've manifested it. And it's like, whoa, look at me. I'm a great co-creator with the universe. I manifest it exactly what I want it. Then, in the next step, you say to yourself, is this what's best for me? Is there someone better coming along than my partner? Is there a better job that's coming along than the one that I have now? And you think, wow, is there something better? Or am I settling? And I know you're thinking, who does that? Well, actually, a lot of people do that when it comes to manifesting because it's you can manifest whatever you desire. And you know, we talk about how it's important to attach a feeling to it, and a lot of people will go ahead and then manifest and they attach a feeling of oh, I got a great partner, got a great job. Then they receive what they want and they start doubting, they start wondering: is this the right relationship for them? Is this the right job for them? Is there something better? And what happens with a lot of people is that they live in the world of potential land and land of what can happen, and they tell themselves, if only this happened, I'd be happy. If I get this relationship with a good person and it's amazing, then I'd be happy. And then they get it, and they're not happy, and you think, well, why aren't they happy? I know I had to ask myself as a coach, wow, you you're a great manifestor, you're a great co-creator, and you have everything working for you right now, and I can tell you when a person starts doubting if it's right for them or if there's something better out there, you know, and they're living in that potential space of hope, and then reality is getting what they want and they don't feel comfortable with it. I can tell you right now that they're having a trauma response. And yes, it is possible to manifest when you have trauma. People do it all the time. I'm sure you've met people where they meet that partner, they they're getting married, and they're like, Well, maybe I don't want to be married, but at first they were on the high of the engagement and the relationship, and I'm gonna get married, and a day comes and they panic, and we call it cold feet, but is something bigger going on? It's like, is this safe for me? So, really, the question that should be asked is is it safe for me to be happy? Is it safe for me to receive what I am receiving, what I have manifested? So the real problem lies in not feeling safe having great things happening in that person's life. That's really what is going on. So, what I would say to you is if you're going to manifest something, make sure it's what you want and that you're willing to do the work and step into it. And this is probably why a lot of times when people want something, it doesn't happen right away. Because they really have to work and heal themselves so that they can step into it and they can appreciate it and not sabotage it. Because more than likely, what's going to happen is for the person who wonders if there's something better out there, they're going to sabotage the relationship that they have because they're thinking maybe this isn't what's best for me. So they sabotage it to open up the door for something else to show up. And it's that chasing for something better, chasing for the best child, the best relationship. Is there something better? Is a trauma response, but it's also about perfection, it's about wanting to be perfect and to have the perfect life. And the perfect life just does not exist. There's no such thing as a perfect life. The great life, the close to perfect life, is really being thankful and grateful for what you have and working with what you have. So if you have a good partner, you know, ask yourself, well, what's wrong? Why? Because you're not feeling some magical high of love that really doesn't exist. Um, what do you think is missing? And inquire and go deep within yourself and ask, what do I think is really missing here? Is it that there's something wrong with my partner? Is it me, how I perceive things? Um, can you handle the calm and the happiness of a relationship? Or are you used to chaos? And if things are too calm, it can feel very shaky, like this doesn't feel good, this isn't safe, and that can make a person think, well, is this the best partner for me? Because they feel like something's missing, something's wrong, if there isn't any drama attached to the situation. So often, you know, a lot of times people are afraid of making the wrong choice because they think whatever choice they make, it better be perfect, it needs to feel good. There needs to be these confetti moments constantly, and that nothing can ever go wrong, like no bad days on the job and no bad days in the relationship, and that just isn't how life works. Life is full of ups and downs, and good days and bad days. That's just how life is. So when a person is looking to feel good all the time, you know there's something that they have to address as deeper than what's on the surface, and it's very important to address that before they go any farther with manifesting. Because, hey, manifesting is a lot about being clear on what you want, and the universe will give you what you want if you're clear. So these types of manifestors, they're clear all the way up to the moment of receiving what they want. So the universe gives it to them, and then it's a great spiritual lesson, right? I'm gonna give this to you now. Let's see what you do with it. Will you appreciate it? Will you honor it? Will you savor it? Will you nurture it? Will you feed it? Will you help it to grow? Are you just gonna sit there in doubt and wonder if there's something better? Because this desire for something better, something more, something, something, something leaves us chasing. It leaves us in a fight or flight mode, in a victim mode, in a poor me. Nothing works out for me mode. It leaves the person feeling like they can never have what they want. But truthfully, they have to heal and get real with themselves so that they can recognize what they want and take care of what they want. So this is an interesting and complicated component when it comes to manifesting, and this is why manifesting goes a lot deeper than visualizing and feeling the feeling because you can do that even with trauma. You can visualize and you can feel the feeling, but when it gets here, when you get what you want, what are you gonna do with it? Are you gonna sabotage it? Are you gonna allow yourself to receive it? See, it's one thing to make it happen, but it's another thing to be totally open to receiving and feeling safe with receiving. So I hope I gave you something to think about and to chew on. And remember, do not manifest anything that you do not feel healed and ready for. Thank you for listening and have a great day.